You wish you were eating this ... Chocolate Zucchini Bread

Zucchini bread is the precursor to Fall's Pumpkin bread and a staple for summers overflowing with extra zucchini. Unfortunately for me, our apartment gets about 2 hours of light during the day, so we decided not to grow anything this year except for some basil. Between the idea of having a garden and getting a dog, I am really loving the idea of having a house.

This bread probably falls on the top of the "10 best things I've ever made" list. Probably somewhere between 5 and 10, after zucchini bread from the farm which is an unwritten, un-duplicatable recipe in my head that requires actually being on a farm and must be eaten after-dinner as well as for breakfast, with eggs, over-easy.

This bread has been adapted from the best zucchini bread recipe in the world which is similar to zucchini bread from the farm... except its not on a farm. And although I will claim some credit for adapting the chocolate recipe, the original zucchini bread recipe is a treasured secret.

The fact that there are 2 zucchini breads on my list of top 10 best things I've ever made, and a third one is pumpkin bread, must say something about me.

Chocolate Zucchini Bread

What will you need? 

(Makes 1 loaf)

2 eggs

1 c. sugar (I always attempt to cut the sugar in recipes, but I am telling you, from experience, 

                  DON'T DO IT. If you must, use 3/4 c. and it will still be fabulous - also tested, by me)

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 c. oil (normally, I would also substitute some of this but DON'T. Trust me.)

1 1/4 c. grated zucchini (This is about 1 small-ish zucchini)

1 1/2 c. flour

1/8 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. baking soda

1 1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 c. cocoa powder (I'm sure dutch-pressed or some other fancy cocoa that had been powdered          by fallen angels playing the harp would be extra-awesome, but I just used Hershey's and it came out just fine!)

1/4 c. chocolate chips - if you want!! (or nuts! nuts would be great too)

What to do?

Now this is pretty easy:

1. Mix all your ingredients, adding the zucchini last. DO NOT FOR ANY REASON attempt to squeeze the liquid out of the zucchini before mixing it. 

2. Bake at 350˚F for 35-40 minutes or until a knife comes out clean when stuck in the center. 

Eat heated with butter, for best results.

Notes: If you are making a double batch (2 loaves), you only have to use 3 eggs. Or be a rebel and use 4 anyway.

Eat More Kale. Here's Why:

I don't know if I am one to talk. Today instead of going for a run, I sat on the couch watching SYTYCD and eating Turkey Hill's Double Dunk chocolate ice cream.

Main message: you think you don't like kale but that's not true. Here's some things to like about kale:

1. It is cheaper than dirt.

2. It doesn't have to taste like dirt.

3. Kale was popular in Europe throughout the Middle Ages and during WWII in Europe because it is easy to grow and contains abundant nutrients.

4. One variety of kale is referred to as 'Hungry Gap' because it can be harvested into the early winter.

5. It contains Vitamins C & K, beta carotene, sulphorophane and a host of other things you can see here (at least 20 other daily requirements):  http://ndb.nal.usda.gov/ndb/foods/show/2969?qlookup=11234&format=Full&max=25&man=&lfacet=&new=1 

6. Several studies link nutrients in kale to decreases in risk for cancer, as well as lowering cholesterol.

Here is how I know you can eat kale: Ethan did. And you should see how he looked at it when he saw it in the refrigerator. He has a deep distrust of leafy green things not disguised as lettuce.

Massaged Kale Salad with Carrots and Dried Cranberries

 REMINDER: this will not taste like dirt

See? Doesn't that look like a nice, harmless, salad?

What will you need?

Salad

Some (curly) kale (If I am making salad for myself, I use about 1-1.5 leaves)

carrots (i like mine shredded, personally)

dried cranberries

flaked parmesan (or whatever cheese, really)

whatever else you want in your salad! it's your salad!

~1 TBS olive oil

~ 1 tsp lemon juice

Dressing (just give this dressing a try, before you go ranch-ing it up)

1.5 TBS olive oil

1+ tsp Apple Cider vinegar (or if you are a pro vinaigrette-maker, use whatever proportions YOU like)

1 chive, minced or onion, if that's what you have

1 clove garlic, crushed

1 tad honey or mustard, either is delicious

What to do?
1. First, de-stem your kale and cut it up. I prefer to roll the leaves and slice them in strips. The texture changes when you massage it, so don't go expecting lettuce.

2. Place all of your kale in a medium bowl with your lemon juice and olive oil. Massage with your hands - YES! do it! - for 1-2 minutes. The texture and color should change, becoming softer and darker green.

3. Mix your dressing ingredients. Probably taste it first, if vinaigrettes are new to your kitchen prowess. Set aside. (Its really better if you let it sit for, like and hour, but ain't nobody got time for that.)

4. Add all the other junk to your salad.

5. Mix dressing. All done.

ps. There are like 500 ways to cook kale. There are entire blogs dedicated to this stuff. Although i had eaten massaged kale salad a few times before, I had never figured out how to make it. Luckily, the BigY people really know what is going on in their featured recipes book. Just give it a try. Even if you don't LOVE it, it's still better for you then most of the things you are eating. Unless you have a perfect diet. In that case, stop reading my blog.