Don't Burn the Bread and Other Lessons From the Kitchen

Lessons from the Kitchen
coping with the anxiety of the unknown, cooking, eating, and loving the life you have

You know what is silly? When we put a timetable on our emotions.

For instance, I say, "In one year, I will feel differently".

That's a BFL. Big fat lie.

You might feel differently in a year. You might be a different person in a year.  But if you're me, or someone else who suffers the agonies of overactive anxiety, you might still feel the same. The tidal wave of guilt and dread still comes for you at night or when you are driving in the car - breathing cold air into your lungs.

The catalyst is different though, in time. The pressure to succeed and excel are replaced with threats of ends that don't meet and words that aren't said. Where the former felt sudden and urgent, the latter looms in the distance, rumbling, the kind of thunder you feel before you hear.

And the problem with the anxiety is, it seems to me, that there is always a storm blowing in. Whether it's real or not.

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Other lessons from the Kitchen

1. Don't burn the bread. Learn your oven. Distrust recipes.

2. Don't leave the milk on the counter. Ethan gets mad.

3. "If you're afraid of butter, use cream" - Julia Child. "Or use both" - Me.

4. Jars of roasted red peppers won't last forever. Even in the back of your fridge.

5. Pillsbury crescent rolls have an expiration date.

6. Drinking wine while you cook will make your food taste better - possibly because you won't be able to taste it. Proceed with caution/make sure someone is there to supervise you.

7. Unplug your smoke detector when you break out the cast-iron.

8. The satisfaction of understanding exactly what is in your food is better than the convenience of take-out/applebees/hamburger helper or even leancuisine.

9. Don't let other people tell you how or what you should be eating. Aside from the obvious medical situations, food should be a happy experience.  It should make you feel happy and full. If it doesn't - if it's a chore - find something better. Don't feel bad when your friend says "you do know triscuits are bad for you, right?" - "you do know that you're not supposed to eat anything stored in tin cans anymore, right?" - "you do know that there is a low-fat/low-sugar/low-calorie version, right?" Shut up.

I'll eat what I want, thank you. And if I'm happy and healthy than I will eat my triscuits and canned corn and full-fat meals. You can eat your lettuce and be sad.

10. Cooking is love. Enjoy it. Work at it. Even when it's hard.

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Blueberry Maple Scones
It's still summer because there are fresh blueberries in my fridge but when I wake up in the morning it feels like fall. Here's to not having to decide which I like more:

What will you need?
 3/4 - 1 c. fresh blueberries (or whatever)
2 1/4 c. flour or cake flour (see below)
1 TBS baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 c. maple sugar (or just sugar)
6 TBS butter, chilled in the freezer
1 c. heavy cream

Icing
1/2 c. powdered sugar
1 TBS maple syrup
1 tsp heavy cream or milk

Preheat your oven to 400˚F. Regular flour will do just fine but if you are willing to give it a try you can easily "make" cake flour by removing 2 TBS flour from the cup of flour and adding 2 TBS corn starch.

 Sift your flour/corn starch, salt, and baking powder. Add sugar.

 Grate 6 TBS chilled butter into your flour mixture. If you insist on not grating the butter, cube it up and cut it into your flour mixture with two butter knives.

 Gently mix in your blueberries, coat lightly with flour. Add heavy cream and mix very gently with a wooden spoon. You are probably going to just have to stick your hands in there, so be ready for that.

 If they don't seem like they are coming together nicely into a ball, or you screw it up like me and have to make two balls, add a little more cream or milk. Add 1 tsp at a time until the dough comes together.

 Roll out your dough into a pancake-looking-thing about 3/4 inch thick. Use the top of a cup or cookie cutter (or a knife if you want to be real rugged about it) to make your circles or whatever. Mine are about ~3" in diameter. If you want to go smaller or larger, make sure to adjust your cooking time.

Pop onto your lined cookie sheet.

Bake 15 minutes or until the tops start to look lightly browned. Meanwhile, make your maple glaze. Add to the tops after you set them to cool. Makes 11 3" scones.

...Also

I made Kale Chips because you just insisted they are the best thing ever.

Kale Chips: because apparently they are the bees-knees.

Let's face it. The internet does not need another kale recipe. Lets just say, get some kale:

Remove the stems, put some oil and salt on it, put it in the oven at 400 until it looks like this:

(As you can see I added cheese, because I love cheese and it makes everything better)

They are OK - not my fave - but I can see why they are an easy snack.