TO DO: 1. hem the curtains 2. think about thinking about starting a food blog to occupy by newly acquired free time 3. send the package to my grandmother i've been procrastinating about 4. work out 5. read about chocolate mousse cake

I've come to learn that there are only three things in the world at this moment in time and space that really make me feel entirely happy and satisfied: kids, gardening and cooking. Of course Ethan is also instrumental in providing me a sense of fulfillment and I am endlessly appreciative of this. Everyone needs someone who helps them not lose their mind. Unfortunately I've been lacking in the departments of "fun" and "satisfying" for some time now, possibly forever. I promise, acknowledging this has just been a walk in the park. kidding.

Being truthful though, there have been things I've been greatly successful with. I've been fortunate to have had success at a young age in the geosciences field (meaning I've been studying rocks, etc.).  This has been quite lovely and exciting however identifying myself as an individual within the greater human race has confused my place within the scientific community in my head. Is wanting to reach the next level of success the same thing as finding happiness? If not, which is the more important? These are rhetorical questions of course because there are so many answers. I cop to having heard at least 75% of the possibilities; and I'm not a fan of any of them.

 Bringing us around to the subject of my newest endeavors : cooking. It seems simple, you see. Any woman over the age of 50 will tell you that there is nothing to it. Pained by early success in academics, it seemed to me that I also wouldn't suck at regular, every-day things, like not feeding my very wonderful boyfriend toast that was a little moldy, making oily omelets, or overcooking EVERY meat I lay hands on.  I would just kill for the culinary knack of Ethan's mom.

Let's not overlook my motives for learning to cook. Even though it seems obvious that I would like to be able to feed both Ethan and I without poisoning us, it's more than that. Being able to provide sustenance for those that you love is at the most basic level of human need. We need to eat. But food is more than procuring enough calories to survive; it's a cultural phenomenon. It surrounds us, wraps us up in the everyday ideals of our country, state, hometown, family, and history. And when it's done right, it makes people happy - most importantly. It can be the most simple expression of love.

Since I am twenty-two, childless, and without a square foot outside my apartment to grow a plant besides potted basil, it is my only solace.